How am I going to survive?

Days like today reaffirm (?) the fact that I do want to be a working mom. I love my kids dearly and will do anything for them, but man, sometimes they kill me! I love, love, love being a mom and honestly, I don't know what I did with my time before I had them. Well, I did manage to get sleep every now and then back in the day. Nowadays, not so much. I have finally accepted the fact that I most likely will not sleep again for years.

But, back to my day. Campbell had school today so that made things a little less hectic from 9-1. Peyton was fairly good during those hours while home with me. But as soon as Campbell got home from school, all hell broke loose.

I attempted to get Campbell down for a nap, then I walked back into my room. Peyton walked into the room a few minutes later and her face was covered in pink. I half-laughed, thinking that she got into the markers again and it would come off easily. Then I noticed a strong odor. A smell that you encounter when you walk into a nail salon. Yep, the girl broke into my hidden stash of nail polish and decided to paint her face with the brightest color ever. These bottles of nail polish aren't for me, but for Peyton. I have to keep them hidden because she wants to paint her nails every hour of every day. I would like to avoid having nail polish in the house, but if you ever come across us in a store after Peyton sees the display of nail polish, you will understand that I do not have a choice. The girl will have a HUGE dramatic meltdown if I don't purchase a thing of nail polish. So anyways, after discovering that Peyton painted her face, I spent 30 minutes washing it off. I gave her yet another stern lecture, telling her to STAY OUT OF THE NAIL POLISH OR ELSE. Ever heard of that working on a 3-year old? It doesn't.

A little while later, Peyton walked into my room BUCK NAKED. I yelled and asked where her clothes were. Apparently she had a little accident involving number 2. I said ok, and said we will clean it up then she can get in the shower. I didn't want to yell at her because all toddlers have accidents. I walked out to the living room and discovered that when she was trying to clean it up before telling me, she had spread it to every surface possible. Come on! Her room, her bathroom, the living room, and dining room had traces of poop everywhere. After spending another 30-45 minutes cleaning, mopping, cleaning, and mopping, I gave Peyton yet ANOTHER stern lecture. I am pretty sure it went in one ear and out the other. About this time, Campbell woke up from her mini nap and let me know that she had managed to take her diaper off and decorate herself and her crib with number 2 as well. GEEEEZ. So spent more time cleaning that up. Threw the girls and myself into the shower.

During our shower, Peyton decided to pour shampoo into Campbell's eyes in attempt to help me clean her. Of course she didn't use the Johnson tear free shampoo, she used my expensive shampoo that HURTS. I gave up with the shower, got them dried an dressed, then sat them on the ottoman in my room while I got dressed. I warned them both to NOT MOVE ONE INCH until daddy gets home. A few minutes later, while I was getting dressed in my closet, Campbell screamed bloody murder. I ran over to where she was and discovered that Peyton had pushed her off the bed and on the way down Campbell slammed her face and head on the bedside table. She now has a gash on her nose, a swollen nose, and a huge bruise above her right eye. REALLY??

I give up. It's 5:55 pm and I am fairly certain I will be handing the kids over to Brad and going to bed in about 30 minutes.